Motivation

The question of motivation has, without my realizing it, been the central issue of my life. I have always been wondering why it is hard to do the things that I want to do. Why, when I love cycling, have I not be on a bicycle in nearly fourteen years? Why, when I love dancing , has it been over a year since I graced a dance floor? Why, when I need help , do I not ask for it? Why, when eating wheat makes me feel awful and makes me blow up like a helium balloon so that all I want to do is whine and drift off, do I eat it anyway?

The issue is one of motivation.

And what really interests me is why wanting to do something is not motivation enough?

I want to do it. I don’t want to not do it, and I choose not to do it? It defies logic.

Today I face up to the fact that there is more to ‘getting there’ than simple desire. Today I face up to the fact that if I want what I want, I am going to have to do something extra to overcome inertia. Today I do not need to worry about what that is. Today I will allow myself the relief of understanding that it is not because I am lazy that I do not do the things that I want to do .

Today I will choose not to beat myself up about what I have left undone. Today, I commit to looking, with curiosity, not judgment, at what is really going on.

Today I acknowledge that if I allow that moving forward requires overcoming something, I can firstly begin to stop obsessing about my ‘failure’ to just have it happen and I can start to understand what needs to be overcome.

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