All habits grow out of our defense mechanisms. Habits began with the tiny protective gestures that served to shut you down in response to a particular threat. The question for today is whether it is still appropriate for you to be shut down.
In the light of the idea that all pain stems from disconnection with ourselves and is modulated by the degree to which we are connected or disconnected, Shutting down is an undesirable habit to have.
It is really quite an easy thing, to see much of life’s pain in terms of disconnection from the self. It is easy to see that shutting people out in defense of some piece of pain is exacerbating the pain by generating the pain of loneliness. Disconnecting from our painful feelings leads to the pain of confusion and the frustration that comes from lack of certainty of what we want from our lives. We have disconnected from our feelings so we cannot stay in touch with who we are and what we want. Avoiding our painful thoughts leads us in to a further lack of clarity from where it is difficult to achieve our goals or even to hold a thought. Disconnecting from our physical bodies can lead to illness and impaired body image that allows so much of the pain that people experience these days.
Disconnection from the self is pretty painful stuff.
Today I will gently ask myself if I have any defensive patterns that shut me down and shut me off and cause me pain.
A defense-habit may be shouting at the dog every time it barks. It may be getting angry when the blind singer sings religious songs on the train. It may be the flash of indignant irritation at the man selling bead sculpture at the side of the road. …Moaning about your boss with colleagues. It may be telling everyone how things should be done when you get stuck in the post office because there is only one clerk on duty in a busy lunch time…
The only way to not disconnect from yourself in these moments, that sometimes seem to trivial to matter, but do, is to open up as much as you can to the situation you are in. Opening up will begin to release you from the defensive habits that cause us pain. The cure for all of the pain we can experience is love and loving. Find the thing about the situation that you are in, that you can love or be grateful for. Allow to the surface, your ancient memory that what heals fear is an opening up and not a closing down. Let that memory remind you that in opening, we allow connectedness and that it is in the connectedness, that we feel held and heard and these are the anti-dote for hurt.
Attend our workshops .
In the light of the idea that all pain stems from disconnection with ourselves and is modulated by the degree to which we are connected or disconnected, Shutting down is an undesirable habit to have.
It is really quite an easy thing, to see much of life’s pain in terms of disconnection from the self. It is easy to see that shutting people out in defense of some piece of pain is exacerbating the pain by generating the pain of loneliness. Disconnecting from our painful feelings leads to the pain of confusion and the frustration that comes from lack of certainty of what we want from our lives. We have disconnected from our feelings so we cannot stay in touch with who we are and what we want. Avoiding our painful thoughts leads us in to a further lack of clarity from where it is difficult to achieve our goals or even to hold a thought. Disconnecting from our physical bodies can lead to illness and impaired body image that allows so much of the pain that people experience these days.
Disconnection from the self is pretty painful stuff.
Today I will gently ask myself if I have any defensive patterns that shut me down and shut me off and cause me pain.
A defense-habit may be shouting at the dog every time it barks. It may be getting angry when the blind singer sings religious songs on the train. It may be the flash of indignant irritation at the man selling bead sculpture at the side of the road. …Moaning about your boss with colleagues. It may be telling everyone how things should be done when you get stuck in the post office because there is only one clerk on duty in a busy lunch time…
The only way to not disconnect from yourself in these moments, that sometimes seem to trivial to matter, but do, is to open up as much as you can to the situation you are in. Opening up will begin to release you from the defensive habits that cause us pain. The cure for all of the pain we can experience is love and loving. Find the thing about the situation that you are in, that you can love or be grateful for. Allow to the surface, your ancient memory that what heals fear is an opening up and not a closing down. Let that memory remind you that in opening, we allow connectedness and that it is in the connectedness, that we feel held and heard and these are the anti-dote for hurt.
Attend our workshops .
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